Taiwanese idiom translation

While all the beloved masters are still digesting that unforgettably nutritious Christmas dinner, I'll just go ahead and offer my 2 cents here:

公嘎哩罵翠秋隴怕軋直譯版：I say to you, until my mustache got all tied up. 斯文版：It’s such a long speech that my mustache will surely turn into knots (and I, into nuts).寓意版：Explaining this to you will torture my mustache to death. 誇張版：I don’t have mustache; but if you insist, I will begin to explain to you; then my mustache will start to grow, and eventually it will start to hug itself. Happy New Year to You and All

2011-12-28 13:20:05 補充：

Yes, priests all have knotted mustache -- just to show how hard they'd tried.

Try this, "my beard is curling down to make you know it."

For a woman she may say that: "my tongue is curling down to make you know it."

How about that, "my baby is growing up to make you know it."

Yes, that happens a lot when dealing with a congregation that does not register to what the priest is teaching.

最近，我碰到一個有趣的台灣知名聲明：

公嘎哩罵翠秋隴怕軋（字符不意味著什麼，但他們的聲音在台灣）

它的中文翻譯

說到您懂，我鬍子都會打結了

它提高了我的好奇心如何翻譯成英文，並仍能保持很有趣的一部分，特別是這部分“我鬍子都會打結”或“翠秋隴怕軋”。中國和台灣之間，這句話的有趣部分以某種方式保存。

我自己的英文翻譯是：

為了讓你明白我的說，我的鬍子將得到綁起來。

英語能大師給我你想到這呢？多謝了！

You're an idiot too stupid to catch my meaning until my beard knots together.

This is unfair to those who do not have facial hair - can women use this? Priests are over qualified for sure.

2011-12-30 02:38:33 補充：

Last week when I went there, my pew neighbor was dreaming of white Christmas. But that priest had no mustache and this alone, should disqualify him.