I think my eating disorder coming back?

All I have is my control of food

I have nice friends and family but I don't feel that close to anyone

I don't feel I deserve a partner as I'm not thin enough

I'm obsessed with how I look and have become more isolated to avoid socialising with food or alcohol because of the calories and lack of control

I'm enjoying having the control of something in my life but do you think I need to change this before it becomes problem?