i started out before the relationship stating that i was an atheist. we have been married for almost 10 years.?

If you are genuinely interested in staying in the marriage, ask her to get together to talk, and be honest. Ask her your questions and then give her time to answer. Do not interrupt her. Let her talk all she wants. Make it a no pressure meeting. Ask her to meet with you. If she asks why, tell that you need to resolve this question. If she agrees, no arguing about old stuff.

Apparently, you felt everything was fine while she may have felt trapped in some way. Whatever her reasons are, allow her to verbalize her feelings and if you feel she is willing to agree to compromises, tell her what you are willing to do to make it work, and then it is up to you.

If she has been seduced by a coworker, it really makes it hard for you, so you should get that question out of the way before you can proceed, because if you are depending on her to listen to you while her mind is on another man, it will be almost fruitless for you. You cannot exist in a triangle. Marriage is for two as I am sue you know.

If she is not willing to accept you, let her go. I can tell you from experience that the sooner you leave her out of your life, the better it will be for the both of you. When I was undergoing a break up with a violent woman who was also a serial cheater, My pastor told me, "Forgive her and let her go."

An attorney friend of mine advised me saying this, "George, sometimes it is better to unilaterally sever all contacts." I was reluctant to accept it at first, but he is my friend as well as attorney and I realized his advice was not only professional, but a hand to a friend. I did exactly as he said and I am happier for it. It is always better to abandon ship. Either way, you're going to get wet, and one of them will be fatal. Abandon the sinking ship and sever all contacts with her if she is not willing to accept your mutual plan for reconciliation. Offer her an opportunity to reconcile, and if she is not willing, make it clear that the decision will be final and irreversible. She can't spend time with another man and then come back when things cool off. It is a one time offer of reconciliation. After that, live your life as it pleases you. If you are not a believer, now would be the time to make the call for help. Time on your knees may not heal your marriage, but it will strengthen you.

Almost all Atheists reconcile with God on their deathbed. You don't have to wait that long.

George

Hey mdk, I'm a fan of your deep automobile interest, and though your automotive questions are mostly too complex for me I like to see the results. But here is a question that I'd like to add some input to. First, I'm sorry that this happened to your marriage especially since I'm a huge fan of marriage and love to see people work through their own. A marriage ending is somewhat of a disaster to me. I heard a wise man once say that relational disasters are the result of years of small storms that were never addressed. I'm sure there is a story behind your wife initially asking you to leave and its a bit alarming that you never knew the reason why until seven months later. Relationships are complex indeed and require much input and giving to make it last. There are givers and takers in a relationship and the stronger of the two may have to give a little more until things level out....

With that said I'm 99% sure that you being an professed atheist is only part of the issue and there are some things that you and your wife have to push through to get to an understanding of each other. A friend and I met a total stranger at a restaurant way who blew me away with how his approached his marital issues. It was admirable to me that this man took the initiative and said after so many years he had to start dating his wife all over again to get through the issues that had previously occured.

In short, I wouldn't be so surprised to find out about the atheist issue because there are likely a myriad of issues. If there is still hope I would suggest you chase your wife again. By that, I mean seeking her out to get to know her, take her out, finndn her love language if you haven't already....date her all over again and get her back and save your marriage especially if you know she is a good woman.

Best wishes to you man

10 years is enough time to really know each other with the quirks and habits we all have in a relation ship and marriage. When someone is in love with anyone else they will close their eyes to certain things , I had a friend that would let his wife dance with other men when they went out simply because he didn't like to dance ,she went home with him and would never cheat nor would he , they really love each other going on 20 years now the jealous type would have ended the marriage in 2 years .

so your wife has known you and if you didn't want to go to church every Sunday because it shouldn't have lead to a religious problem , there's something missing and she hasn't been honest with you , you should both sit down and talk about it ,even better have a counselor help you if you really want to save your marriage..

I think you may well find that there is more to this than at first meets the eye. People fall out of love with each other, often staying together just because they can't find away of saying "its over", this excuse might just be the way of "saying its over", since religion hasn't played a part in your married lives .

That's harsh. Maybe there's another underlying reason and she's just using your religious stance as an excuse to ask you to leave...

1

I noticed you said relationship not marriage. Maybe she has made the decision to live what she has been claiming. Most religions teach that cohabiting is wrong. You were asked to leave. Does she still want to see you?

Some people put off facing certain facts \that they don't like about other from day one or she finally told her parents or they finally pushed her to break it off. Sorry about your situation.

One of the guy's she's been banging on the side asked her to leave you and move on with him.

stuff happens