he cheated and i'm still with him?

Question

i've been with my bf for 8yrs, we had our first son last year 2010, we lived separatly before and we didn't spent much time with each other, usually he was with his friend all the time, partying, smoking, drinking, and cheating on me i forgave him, but lately we had a huge fight at my home and when he left i swore i would never go back with him again, my mum told him never to set foot at my place and i hated him that night, it was thursday. and on monday my mum's friend told me that while waiting for the bus to go to work early morning she saw him with a girl, i found out that he had sex with that girl in some bushes after a party at his brother's house sunday night. i felt soooo bad and cried alot even if we were not together it hurts so much... later that week he came over to see his son and he started talking to me and telling me that he is sorry about the fight, and when i confront him about what he did he deny it all saying it's a lie.... i told him to get away from me and he start crying to me and tell me he whole thruth, he was drunk and high, that girl was at the same place as him that night drinking and smoking too, he didn't do it out of love, he was angry at me and thought it was all over, he regret what he did. he told me that he wants me to come live with him at his place, well me i listen to him of course and i went to his place to live with our son.... i notice a big change in our relationship, he is always there with us, help with the baby, but my only problem is that i can't forget what he did and i bring it up everytime we have a discussion which make everything goes bad... i forgave him because i cheated on him too in the past but it was only out of revenge when he hurt me, but how can i let that go?

更新:

i know in a relationship there should be trust, i want to trust him but it's always on my mind that he is doing something , it's his fault if i'm insecure!, sometime i think that i should just take my son and go back to my place and leave his as*, i love him alot and i wish my son doesn't suffer

Bex · Accepted Answer

He is a massive cheat, and has cheated on you numerous times. Why would you put up with this? Every time you forgive him for cheating, your basically saying 'its ok to cheat on me, cos i'll just forgive you' and he will carry on doing it. Once a cheat always a cheat. You need to get rid of this loser of a guy, if not for yourself, for your son! Its unhealthy for your son to be around you two, when all your doing is arguing, your son will pick up on the atmosphere, and it will affect him aswel. For one thing i wouldn't let no guy near my child as long as they were taking drugs and drinking heavily, i would give him an ultimatum and tell him if he doesn't give up the drugs and drink, then hes not seeing his child! This relationship will never work, you will never be happy, as long as you are with him, you will never be able to trust him after what he has done, the main thing that makes a relationship work is TRUST if you haven't got that, you have nothing!

Kumar John · Answer

that depends entirely on how deep is your love trust respect with each other. if this is once in a while occuring event, then treat it as a lesson. make him to realize what is family, what is his responsiblity in building or maintaining a family. after all family life is not only copulating for pleasure and living life as bachelor/ spinster inspite of having a spouse and ignoring that spouse.

if this is a daily event, then i am sorry to say that you have to make the choice whether to forget his mistake or forget him itself.

take your time. but dont make any emotional decisions as you might regret it definitely.

匿名 · Answer

Jeeez this story is all over the place. Well if you "forgive" him but you constantly bring it up...then you really didn't forgive him did you? Learn to forgive and FORGET. You will probably be the cause of a nasty break up and then your kid ends up suffering all b/c you can't let something go that happened in the past. He's obviously sorry and he is proving that he can be a trustworthy person, so let it go.

? · Answer

Bringing up the past is a HUGE mistke..promise urslf nt to do tht again..if u hav issues..just walk away instead of arguing..then tlk abt it later. Forgiv him.Not coz ur guilty abt what u did,bt coz he hs genuinely changd. Nww that u r planing 2live as a family, discus ur probs and finish it off. You dont want ur son to hav a traumatic childhood do u?

You both need2 undrstnd tht its immature and STUPID to hav 'revenge sex'..ul neva trust ech othr.

Tifany B · Answer

It sounds like its time for yah'll call it quite an just stay focus on your son

Kathleen Germany · Answer

I'm sorry but for me cheating is unforgivable ........friends do not hurt friends this way .
.......................Katie ♥

he cheated and i'm still with him?

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