Which guy would you choose?

Come on! Why are you wasting your time with either one of these losers?

Your young and have your whole life ahead of you and you are sacrificing your life for some bumpkin(s) that just fell off the turnip truck. Get a real life.

Give them the test. Let each set up a date for you and he and see how you feel about each of them after the evening is over, don't go to bed with either. Save that for the winner. I'll say this much, I've known many guys and girls that have done drugs and other things and have cleaned up very nicely in the end. Once they made the decision to straighten up they did. I did! They both both sound like good catches. Although, the drifter type may decide to drift off again. What will you do then. Go with him or not? You've got major decisions to make.

It's good to hear from you, I wondered where you were.

To be honest with you, I'd get rid of both of them. First of all, why would you want to spend any amount of time with a drug addict that's not in their recovery process? Second, why would you want to spend time with a lazy guy who has no motivation?

You have to start thinking about the future: you're a woman and you'd basically be supporting both guys financially and emotionally without getting much back for the effort.

The best thing to do would be to cut ties completely with both and not speak to them for at least 3 months. In that time, clear your head and realize what it is you want in a man.

You want a guy who is outgoing and adventurous, you want someone you can talk to easily but who doesn't complain and has a positive outlook on life, and who takes initiative and has goals. You can find this in a person, and you will when you're ready. You just have to be smart enough to go for it and not weigh yourself down with these 2 boys who are not well enough to become men.

P.S. This "The substance use is the reason why he lost his job here and had to move away. He's lost his job, his credit, his car. But even with nothing to his name, he still decided to pick up and move to New Orleans and start over." is not something to admire. This is the sign of a drug addict who has abused every resource around him and knows that it's time to move to a new city and mooch off of new people until they become wise to his game.

P.P.S. This "He complains so much about his mom, and yet he lives in her home year after year, allowing her to support him. He seems to be most comfortable as the victim, the longsuffering martyr, not only of his mother but of me, who keeps him waiting too long." is the sign of a perpetual child who will only move on to a new woman who will support him while he continues to be lazy. This was my ex boyfriend and I can honestly say that your guy WON'T change. Why would he have to if you were supporting him? I used to get so angry at my ex because he has potential but was lazy, and then I realized that he would never change and that he basically substituted me for his mother, even down to allowing me to pay his way.

Get out while you can!

I would choose guy 1. I don't think you want to have to deal with the 2nd guys spontaneity and his addictions. guy 1 may have problems with getting a job and he may live with his mom, but people will grow up and grow out of that. And TRUST ME. It is more important to connect and be able to talk to someone, than to "feel" in love. And the best part is, is that guy 1 seems to love you a lot and he's ready to move on and start a life with you. I think Guy 1 is the best choice. Best of luck!

omg im in the same situation!!!!! and i posted a question about it too so check out the answers to mine if it helps :)

for your case though, i think guy 2 is better because he's more dependable to get things done, has more initiative which will work out good for you if you ever get married with him. seems like guy 1, although you've known him for a long time, isn't going to change anytime..

def do not go with guy number 2 unless he is completley sobered up!! dealing with a drug addict when you are thinking about having a family is just all around a bad idea. also your infatuation with him might just be because he somewhat falls under the "bad boy" category. however, guy number 1 really should get his act together, if he really loves you like you said, then he should be willing to find a job and stick with it so that he can support you/family. personal opinion: i think you should forget them both and find a guy who is willing to do what ever it is to make you happy =]

Well, I think this is a hard one. I would'nt want to be with a person who has a drug problem, they can become very dangerous. I think you should stay with Mr1. Maybe you can give him try to motivate him and see what he likes to do and help him stick to it.

I might on the other hand start with Mr 3

guy 2.

drug addictions are easier to get over than being dependent on other people. because drugs are material, and they cost money, and just i have many friends who have gotten over drug addictions, i always have friends who are dependent on their parents, and they have not gotten over that. if you are in love with guy number 2 go for him.

even though i really don't think you are in love with him, otherwise you wouldn't have to be asking this question...you would know he was the one for you.

i am so in ur boat and i picked guy 1.. u will realise wen its to late that hes the guy 4 u.. 26 is still very young and he will change as he gets older

if guy 2 wont stop for you then he doenst love you.

guy 1 seems like he likes you a lot mkore an dyou can go far in life with him...soo..id say guy 1