when I'm nice to my boyfriend, he's mean to me. When I'm mean, he's nice!?

Question

I always try to say nice things and not blame during arguments, I'm always trying to make up and find common ground.  And he just gets angrier and angrier, and then pulls away into silence.

Recently I was kind of fed up.  When he'd say mean things, I'd come back defending myself.  And suddenly he'd start trying to say things to make up and apologize and be nice!

So on the one hand this could be a good thing...now I know how to keep from feeling trampled all over in these arguments.  I just need to stand up for myself and say it how it is and not worry about being nice.

But thats not the relationship I want.  I want a relationship where we both speak kindly to each other, where we are both considerate and try to understand each other, instead of constantly defending and attacking.

What does it mean, what should I do?  Anyone else been in a similar situation?

匿名 · Accepted Answer

Yeah when your nice he doesn't respect u... when you stand up to him he respects it.. if its not what you want then leave and find someone who respects niceness.

*kwah* · Answer

I think it's time to let your boyfriend go. There is no reason that I know of why you should take abuse from anyone especially someone who is supposed to love you. But then again you shouldn't hand it out either (the abuse that is). You may need to take a break from this relationship. Perhaps, you both need a break from each other. Cut him loose, if he's the antagonist and take him back only if he learns how to treat you like a lady. Constant bickering and hassling is not good for any relationship. I don't know how old you are, but it seems to me that you know that what your going through is not right. If you love him tell him "I love you but I can't be with you if you continue to hurt me."

when I'm nice to my boyfriend, he's mean to me. When I'm mean, he's nice!?

2 個解答