Yahoo 知識+ 將於 2021 年 5 月 4 日 (美國東岸時間) 停止服務，而 Yahoo 知識+ 網站現已轉為僅限瀏覽模式。其他 Yahoo 資產或服務，或你的 Yahoo 帳戶將不會有任何變更。你可以在此服務中心網頁進一步了解 Yahoo 知識+ 停止服務的事宜，以及了解如何下載你的資料。
I broke up with my boyfriend last week, should I go back to him?
I'm 25, he's 28. We've been together 2 1/2 yrs. He's generally a great guy, and has been a good boyfriend.
My reason for breaking up is that he is so repressed. His number one goal in life, and in relationships, is to avoid conflict. His parents are divorced and spent his whole childhood fighting each other. His mom would yell at him for stupid reasons, no matter how "good" he was. He's formed his entire personality around avoiding these kinds of conflicts. It's not just a matter of avoiding fights. He also is very unopinionated, that way nobody will disagree with him. He hates to talk about the relationship, even good stuff. He won't tell me anything about his true thoughts, feelings, weaknesses, etc because this makes him vulnerable, which makes him feel powerless.
I asked him for more passion, I tried to work on this with him. He tried halfheartedly. We broke up. THEN, he started writing me these VERY passionate letters saying everything I wanted him to say. But
I'm concerned that he's only doing this because he's desperate to win me back. Once we're together again, he still won't want to open up and talk like he does in these letters. If he had said half the stuff in these letters, DURING the relationship, when I ASKED him about it, then maybe we could have saved the relationship. The person in these letters is the person I want to be with. But he hates to be that person and will only do it when he's desperate.
At the same time, I know he really loves me. He's sent me roses, tons of love letters, all this stuff, since we broke up. I hate to ignore it when this is exactly what I've always wanted from him.
23 個解答
- 1 十年前
People don't change overnight, or in a week in this case. It just doesn't happen. You need to give it some time for him to really understand what he lost, and if he wants to get it back then he'll change. Try to be understanding as well though because what happened to him int he past is something he can't help. His experiences have made him who he is today and it's hard for a person to change those things, especially when someone you love is tugging at you to do so. You're exactly right...he is desperate and will probably tell you anything he can in order to win you back. But remember, actions speak louder than words. Maybe one day you can give him the opportunity to show you that he has changed, just give it time. I promise it will be worth it!
- 匿名1 十年前
Ah sweetie, he has some serious issues doesn't he? Well, I guess if it were me I would wait and see how things work. This may have been just what he needed to break out of his shell. But I wouldn't go running back to him just yet. Give it some time. He didn't get this way over night and he's not going to change over night. But he sounds like a good guy.
- 1 十年前
Sounds like breaking up was what got him going. Sometimes people need a reality check to see what they have lost. Let him know that you appreciate the letters and what was in them. It may be worth a second chance.
- 1 十年前
tell him that the person that you want to be with is the person who wrote those letters. if he cant change leave it alone. you cant make anyone be who they dont want to be. and give him a break because my parents are divorced too and does have an effect on people and thats his effect. he doesnt try to start drama because he knows what he can lead too. try one more time. Good Luck!!
- 匿名1 十年前
OMG!!! i broke up with my bf last week ... he was a gemini & exactly like that i swear i got sick of it & broke the 3 yr relationship....... i try working on him he changed a bit NO doubt because he loves me BUT we had other issues too SOOOOO tell ur BF if u wana work it out he has to be more into stuff talking about prob & conflicts etc whetevr ...see wht he says on that,,,of course if he cares he will work with you ,,,WISH U ALL THE BEST HUN
- 1 十年前
im sure he loves but maybe hes scared of not finding someone else. ive been with my boyfriend now for 2 years and hes exactly the same. he'll say that he will try beter and will change but the week later everything he promised is forgoten. but only you can decide wether you stay or you go
- 匿名1 十年前
IN MY OPINION ITS BETTER TO BE WITH SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU,EVEN IF YOU HAVE DOUBTS IN RETURN.
maybe he still doesn't write those letters from heart but if hes trying to get you back then he definately loves you..
and love opens up people..sometimes gradually and sometimes suddenly after a period of time
- 1 十年前
GO BACK TO HIM!!! if u like him (or love) that much then u should try and stay out of his business for a while and then sit down with him and talk like over a movie make him comfortable.
- 匿名1 十年前
if i was in your place i would give your partner a second chance seeing that he was good to you and your reason for breaking up can be easily be resolved by communication between you too. but only you can really decide what's best for both of you since you're the only one who knows yourself and your partner the best.. good luck
- 匿名1 十年前
No... i think he really loves you. he is probably trying in his own ways to please you too but what he really needs is professional help. He should see a psychologist asap because the repression could ruin other parts of his life too... not only your relationship.
