What do you think of this idea to replace all current award shows?

I hate award shows. Watching a bunch of overpaid clowns give other overpaid clowns awards for being good overpaid clowns is a complete waste of time. These people are already paid far more than they actually contribute to society, but they also need extra recognition. I also can't keep the different award show straight.

So I propose that we combine every single award show for music, TV, film, and whatever else into a single award show with no speeches, musical performances or red carpet. Simply have all the recipients line up in order of the award they're getting, have the award and recipient read out, the recipient walk on stage and accept their award and a handshake, and then get off the stage. Like a high school graduation.

And instead of a golden man, angel with sharp wings, a golden spherical bludgeon, or whatever all the other awards look like, the awards will all be gold painting plastic statues of a clown on a unicycle holding two cartoon style bags of money.

And this award show will only be broadcast on the internet, instead of wasting airtime.