Am I a good writer? I need a confidence boost?

Blood splattered on my face as I tore into the flesh of my screaming victim. I felt its warmth comfort me like blanket, covering me with it fabric fingers. I stemmed the bleeding. What was it like to be tortured and have your torturer keep you alive, every day coming closer to death?

"See you tomorrow. I'll have the locusts taste your blood." I turned around to walk away from the bleeding figure. He wasn't watching me, I knew it. He was too afraid to look my way even with my back turned.

I'm a writer, I just can't figure out why. Every time I doubt my ability to write and come to a standstill it’s like my soul screams with pain. It hurts so much sometimes that I panic and cry until my throats sore. If anyone has a similar experience can you please help? I want to have fun writing, not be in constant pain. I know how it feels to be tortured and kept alive, every day coming closer to death but never being allowed to die.