Cogito

Thinking about this, and looking at my own behavior it becomes apparent to me that instead of calmly sitting and thinking I am often listening to intense music, my thoughts are wild and chaotic, and yet... at the end of it all I feel much calmer and better about whatever has been distressing me. Also, out of the chaos of such meditation can come many edifying thoughts, after all, the world is not a perfectly calm place so perhaps mediation of the calm is not the best way to deal with it.

I'd like to know in general, although if there is no general solution than YouTube videos will work just fine, no I don't plan on being illegal, there is one video with beautiful sound, and it's not really a song that I can buy etc.

Honestly, I've seen questions about death and the after-life etc. and whenever someone talks about being "saved" by Jesus or something it's obvious that the other god-squadders gave them a thumbs up simply for mentioning jesus and heaven and what-not, I feel like I then have to give them an automatic thumbs down simply for making what as supposed to be an intellectual discussion into a "praise the lord! hallejuah!" type of situation where nothing is explained at all. They simply expect you to drop to your knees immediately and start praying to be saved... solving nothing and leaving me personally with a bitter taste in my mouth a desire to spit.