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my bf is talking non stop about getting married and having babies...the whole hoopla... and i do too.. its all i ever dreamed of... hes flat out told his family that im the girl hes gonna spend the rest of his life with!!! and i want to be with him forever too... but the only problem is... ( sigh,,,) i cant afford to get married... and i feel so stupid.. my family barely gets by and with todays economy its hard.. after paying rent i have enough for bills and groceries and gas... but after that !! maybe 12 bucks!! there is no way i could afford a dress , banquet hall ,, invitations.. when i my mom found out about him wanting to ask me to marry him .... the look on her face was far from ecstatic...she looked like she saw a ghost... its soo embarrassing to tell him or to even write this... and i feel like garbage sometimes.. i have always avoided getting into relationshiips for this reason but i fell for him and when my family found out they said dont bother cus " he is the crystal you look cus you cant afford it " or im not good enough for him and i feel that way sometimes... like why me? even his family asks him that! everything i have i worked for.. my own place car and the clothes i wear.. and he works too it just hes never had it hard in life..

what do i do? i feel a poor dumb idiot

my bf is talking non stop about getting married and having babies...the whole hoopla... and i do too.. its all i ever dreamed of... hes flat out told his family that im the girl hes gonna spend the rest of his life with!!! and i want to be with him forever too... but the only problem is... ( sigh,,,) i cant afford to get married... and i feel so stupid.. my family barely gets by and with todays economy its hard.. after paying rent i have enough for bills and groceries and gas... but after that !! maybe 12 bucks!! there is no way i could afford a dress , banquet hall ,, invitations.. when i my mom found out about him wanting to ask me to marry him .... the look on her face was far from ecstatic...she looked like she saw a ghost... its soo embarrassing to tell him or to even write this... and i feel like garbage sometimes.. i have always avoided getting into relationshiips for this reason but i fell for him and when my family found out they said dont bother cus " he is the crystal you look cus you cant afford it " or im not good enough for him and i feel that way sometimes... like why me? even his family asks him that! everything i have i worked for.. my own place car and the clothes i wear.. and he works too it just hes never had it hard in life..

what do i do? i feel a poor dumb idiot

my mom would have been married to her first husband now for 28 years,,..( he died 8 years ago) and now she remarried and its been a year married) and has been with her new husband for 6 and a half years in total... i dont get in volned much cus i dont really care about what they do and what not but one thing i never caught untill just recently is that in the 6 and a half year my mom and her new husband have been together..she has never told him that im not her first husbands biological child and my siblings are actually my half siblings!! im 25 years old ( yeah she had an affair 2 years into her marriage got preggers and her husband agreed to keep me and raise me as his own)

FYI i dont look anything like my family and this guy hasnt really seen all of my moms family so i gues sits easy to assume i look like a distant relative or W/E but what gets me is that this is a pretty big secret.. doesn't her husband the new one) have the right to know? i mean im not gonna just pop up and say hey their dads not my real dad and your actually my second step father lol .. but.. you don't think i should say something? i dont thin k i want to cus he would ask why i kept it a secret when i didn't .. i was under the impression my dear ol'mom told him cus your partner does have the right to know these things.. or should i just not say anything and let the chips fall as they may? i have asked my mom she just tells me to shut up and i personally think the reason is cus im bi racial ( indian (india) family ---> im half black but blend in well with indians) and its something not looked that highly up on ( stupid i know) and i dont have a relationship with my birth father

SORRY IF ITS TOO LONG :)

well last summer my mom remarried a guy 14 years her junior and 8 years my senior .. im 24.. and him 32 and my mom 47.. any ways i know its none of my business but i have 3 younger siblings who live at home..18 and two 17 yearolds.. my mom s husband has a pretty shady past ( drugs jail and probably murder wouldnt be surprised) we come from an indian family but not too conservative pretty chill though.. well the guys a full blown crack addict . and my mom knows but doesnt care ?! .he stole money from my brothers school fees to by coke and she still gives him money. (cus hes too dumb to get a job).. and then she gets pissed then gives him more money sayingdont buy drugs and then he comes home higher than a friggin kite?! his family knows but say nothing and my moms family doesnt know but they know he doesnt work and they take their frustration for my mom out on me .. i dont get it .. i mean im 24 and have my own life but my siblings are what worries me... my moms first husband dies from this habit too 7 years ago and its like she doesnt care.. like i dont mean to sound like a bitchh but if this guy dies.. you gonna be a widow AGAIN!! even though its her decision she asked us 4 kids what we thought of them both getting married 2 years ago and we all said we were not thrilled about it considering he called me gross names and called me a prostitute and told me to die when i confront my mom about his problems.. i luve my mom but she makes me sooo angry.. i know i cant be around him and hes around my mom all the time to the point where i wont even go near my mom and shen i want tosee her shes says "WE ALL CAN GO" and then i bow out.. i lived this life for 17 years with my dad and now hes dead and i went crazy... so i dont get when she would do this to us again. i am thinking im gonna tell her that i dont want to be around them both anymore unless he cleans up his habit .. i live at home ( yeah most Asians do lol) but im ready to move out if i have to ,,, i refuse to tolerate her husbands bullshiit..and my moms crap.. and i know my grand parents would freak if i left but to be honest i couldn't care less what others think ... so.. what do you guys think i should do? any insight? or ideas on how to go about it?

please please dont be rude.. i get enough of that at home -.-

my best friend in the whole world had been really big all her life .. in terms of weight i mean. she has the most beautiful looking face like a china doll with full lips and long almond shaped eyes.. she has the best personality too... the thing is growing up with her she always ad trouble dating guys in high school.. she never dated but everyone was her friend cus she was just plain awesome..lol.... anyways we are in out 20's now and she was still a big girl.. i know she would not like me telling her exact weight and im the only one who knows but i will level it off to about 300 maybe a little more but is she ever tall shes 5'10 so shes portioned really well.. anyways she wanted something that would be permanent cus everything she tried in terms of dieting and gymming just didn't help.. and i know i was with her the whole time.. she went in for weight loss surgery.. it was the sleeve gastro-mectomy thing where only 1/3rd of her stomach is left.. she lost 60% of her weight and not she looks AMAZING... im sorry this is long but what i wanted to know from guys out there... would you date a beautiful women who needed a little( "surgical help" as she puts it) .. i mean i have known her all my life and its not like she eats crap ... she hates sugar lol and salty / spicey food ... and she loved salads she was just bigger naturally ... but seeing beauty ( im sorry i dont have a pic cus i know it would make her feel a bit off but think of a much lighter skin toned version of kimora lee simmons) knowing this .. would you guys be okay with dating a woman like that.....

i tell her that any guy would love her no matter what but she feels a little embarrassed about the surgery thing...even though she looks good.. some help please? thnx.......

i have posted this in friends aswell thnkzzz

my best friend in the whole world had been really big all her life .. in terms of weight i mean. she has the most beautiful looking face like a china doll with full lips and long almond shaped eyes.. she has the best personality too... the thing is growing up with her she always ad trouble dating guys in high school.. she never dated but everyone was her friend cus she was just plain awesome..lol.... anyways we are in out 20's now and she was still a big girl.. i know she would not like me telling her exact weight and im the only one who knows but i will level it off to about 300 maybe a little more but is she ever tall shes 5'10 so shes portioned really well.. anyways she wanted something that would be permanent cus everything she tried in terms of dieting and gymming just didn't help.. and i know i was with her the whole time.. she went in for weight loss surgery.. it was the sleeve gastro-mectomy thing where only 1/3rd of her stomach is left.. she lost 60% of her weight and not she looks AMAZING... im sorry this is long but what i wanted to know from guys out there... would you date a beautiful women who needed a little( "surgical help" as she puts it) .. i mean i have known her all my life and its not like she eats crap ... she hates sugar lol and salty / spicey food ... and she loved salads she was just bigger naturally ... but seeing beauty ( im sorry i dont have a pic cus i know it would make her feel a bit off but think of a much lighter skin toned version of kimora lee simmons) knowing this .. would you guys be okay with dating a woman like that.....

i tell her that any guy would love her no matter what but she feels a little embarrassed about the surgery thing...even though she looks good.. some help please? thnx.......

would you date/marry a woman who has kissed other women or experimented with them when they were in highschool or collage? i mean she was only bi curious... and kissed girls and did stuff .. prett much the whole lesbian experience but for the sake of trying it to know what its like.... but you see her and fall for her. and she comes out to tell you that she "WAS" bi curious and got that all out of her system. but she likes and wants to be with and only you.... would you guys be okay with that?

OR! lol.. would you date a bi girl who is attracted to women but doesnt do "stuff" with them but flirts with them and uses that sexual energy on you?

well im 23 years old.. when i was 17 i witnessed my dad being murdered in our home.. my brothers were in their room and my mom was screaming in the drawing room.. thats what woke me up... and thats when i saw 3 men kill my dad! to go through **** llike that as a teenager i just thank god my brothers and sister werent there to see it happening cus i know it would have messed them up big time.. but anyways... my mom , my entire life has always put me down.. never encouraging me to follow my dreams only hers... doctor this and that since my entire family is educated no one has ever put any effort outside of that stuf s,, ,llike sports or art.. when i was a kid i was a ace soccer player and community leages noticed wheni was 11 yrs old and asked me to play with bigger kids my mom declined with out asking me.. i took up music and vocal . and i must say im pretty good and whne my coaches would request companies to come and see me she again would decline with out asking me i continued with what i was doing until i was 17.... it seems that anything i do even now at 23 isnt good enough.. now shes trying to get a me a job at a bank even though i dont want to.. i luve to travel... it keeps my mind off of things like what hapenned when i was 17 she doesnt get me , not my brothers my sister or anyone else.. my dads family said we died for them the night my dad died and my moms famioly his been nothing but verbally and emotionally abusive.. and i hate that my mom is that way with me especially after everything we have gone through and put up with.. i gave up my child hood for 3 kids ( my siblings) cus my mom was the type to not care and those kids are the only thing i have left of my dad's .. but wut really gets me is how she makes me feel bad for trying.. trying to be my own person.. trying to learn the world outside what i was brought up in.. which was abuse and i have a tonne of scars to prove it.. she makes me feel worthless and stupid cus all the girls in my family my age are getting married or are either married with atleast one kid.. im not getting married any time soon lol. i knwo that but she makes me feel bad cus she says it will never happen cus im dumb.. even though i know im 23 im an adult and i shouldnt care but i do cus shes my mom,,,.. i worked say in and day out to build our famnily a home afte we lost ours when my dad died and she acts ungrateful.. i probably wouldnt have but i did cus of the kids.. we were liviing in a 2 bedroom 1 bthroom rental with teh 5 of us full of cockroaches :((( it swas awfull and embarrassing for my briothers as they would want frnds over but didnt cus they hated it! but what shoudl i do with her..? she sthe only parent i have left and family really and both sides dont like talkiong to me cus im adopted.. :/

im sorry about it being so long but it just hurts that all.. i have worked realy hard to give my sibling a better life than what i've had.. a little insite would be nice.. thnx guys

well im 23 years old.. when i was 17 i witnessed my dad being murdered in our home.. my brothers were in their room and my mom was screaming in the drawing room.. thats what woke me up... and thats when i saw 3 men kill my dad! to go through **** llike that as a teenager i just thank god my brothers and sister werent there to see it happening cus i know it would have messed them up big time.. but anyways... my mom , my entire life has always put me down.. never encouraging me to follow my dreams only hers... doctor this and that since my entire family is educated no one has ever put any effort outside of that stuf s,, ,llike sports or art.. when i was a kid i was a ace soccer player and community leages noticed wheni was 11 yrs old and asked me to play with bigger kids my mom declined with out asking me.. i took up music and vocal . and i must say im pretty good and whne my coaches would request companies to come and see me she again would decline with out asking me i continued with what i was doing until i was 17.... it seems that anything i do even now at 23 isnt good enough.. now shes trying to get a me a job at a bank even though i dont want to.. i luve to travel... it keeps my mind off of things like what hapenned when i was 17 she doesnt get me , not my brothers my sister or anyone else.. my dads family said we died for them the night my dad died and my moms famioly his been nothing but verbally and emotionally abusive.. and i hate that my mom is that way with me especially after everything we have gone through and put up with.. i gave up my child hood for 3 kids ( my siblings) cus my mom was the type to not care and those kids are the only thing i have left of my dad's .. but wut really gets me is how she makes me feel bad for trying.. trying to be my own person.. trying to learn the world outside what i was brought up in.. which was abuse and i have a tonne of scars to prove it.. she makes me feel worthless and stupid cus all the girls in my family my age are getting married or are either married with atleast one kid.. im not getting married any time soon lol. i knwo that but she makes me feel bad cus she says it will never happen cus im dumb.. even though i know im 23 im an adult and i shouldnt care but i do cus shes my mom,,,.. i worked say in and day out to build our famnily a home afte we lost ours when my dad died and she acts ungrateful.. i probably wouldnt have but i did cus of the kids.. we were liviing in a 2 bedroom 1 bthroom rental with teh 5 of us full of cockroaches :((( it swas awfull and embarrassing for my briothers as they would want frnds over but didnt cus they hated it! but what shoudl i do with her..? she sthe only parent i have left and family really and both sides dont like talkiong to me cus im adopted.. :/

im sorry about it being so long but it just hurts that all.. i have worked realy hard to give my sibling a better life than what i've had.. a little insite would be nice.. thnx guys

so the deal is .. my mom's f is like 31 yrs old she's 45.. okay so story goes that i met him when i was 19 ( im 23 now) i knw this is none of my busness but this bothers me... 4 yrs ago he was fully aware that m mom ha 4 kids.. ( sister 17) (brothers both 16). his family is soooo dunce... like they dont get that my mother is a widow and fine yeah i supprt myself but her widow pension and job is all she has to go on.. i pitch in as much as i can.. tis d!ckwaad of a guy doest do anything.... everytime im at her place which is like everyday hes in the bedroom waiting for food and watched movies and smokes all day doesnt step foot outside the room and waits for frnds to call him then u8ses my moms car to go out till 3 am!! im like uuhm okay.. well today he yelled at my mom saying that he was embarrassed that she had 4 kids and that she's a single mom with no money. and he said that to her infront of his ENTIRE FAMILY. and said you wont marry me blah blah.. her response: well i cant do anything about it cus my widow pension is all i got to go on with the kids and sinse you dont work ordo anything i can afford to stop my widow pension unless you start to pitch in:" he looked at her like wtf y should i? my mom left and came home with tears in her eyes and i listened while i was fuming... and to top it off... todays my dad's birthday he would have been 47 today .. and she always gets upset at this time he was killed when i was 17 with all of as at home,, and her BF knows what happenned so i think hes just totally selfish... what do you think about this guy? *** or what ? freeloader?

would you date a girl who was only trying to explore who she was as a person and her sexuality.. ie. she kissed a girl, touch, ect.. but isn't gay or bisexual but was confused as a teenager and was trying to figure things out as a young woman.. but she knows that she isn't neither and is only into guys. would you?

ok so in my dream i was going down on this girl i knew from highschool..she is hot though and petit.. we anyways in my dream i was really horny and so was she .. she was in the doggy position and i was humping her and she liked it!! HUH... and then i threw her on her back and gave her ORAL!!! like i could see everything and my tongue was in her pvssy!! and i even remember the taste of her cvmm it was good.. but any ways i dont get this dream i am not a lesbian or bisexual.. i DON'T get those tendencies AT ALL! but anyways i woke feeling really horny and bad cus there was no one beside me to fvck lol but then i was like huh what the hell man.. and this isn't the first time..once i had a dream that some woman like ellen degeneres was eating me out and it was SOOO EFFING GOOD. but still .. im not gay!! so what do you think it means? am i just horny? and i am like 90% of the time but i don't think about sex when im sleeping or about me skrewing chicks.. guys yess girls no!! so whats up?

okay! so.. here it goes .. im 23 years old and my mom is 45 and her to be husband is 30 ( yes i know my thoughts exactly).. he has no job and does nothing all day.. he sist in the bedroom, watches movies and eats and drinks cofee all effing day!!!!!!!! im like uuhm mom whats his job.. she shruggs and turns.. lol any ways ... u see in our indian culture ( not that i do the culture think i grew up with white kids kay) lol but since she wants to remarry as she is a widow the rules in my family is that he must be from a good background and have a carreer of some sort.. the guys doesnt even move out of bed .. anyways he goes out all nightand comes home at liek 3 am.. he said well i have soemthing to do ? uuuhm ok then! well ther is this grl whos about my age prolly is! apparently he was ******* her a few months ago and he blamed it on his firends and then said no it was the drugs and then no i never did.. she calls all the time asking for him and then tonight at 11 she foned my moms cell .. i think it was to signal my mom that he goes to her at night.. well i did warn my mom b4.. like i hate to break it mom but ur 45 and hes like 29/30 and well yea i feel like hes usiing her for money and a place to stay and sas that he wants to marry her and is pretty eager to meet my grandparents.. but my mom is to blame too cus she babies him.. if he does sumthing wrong its like okok baby boo boo blahblah .. shes lied to my family and said that hes in realestate.. she says that he cares but doesnt i think and like he plays around with my bros but for some reason is always picking fights with me and my sister ( shes 16) one time he put some dog scented sprat all in her hair and burned the crapp out her scalp and i almost beat the sh1it out of him like i swung at his face but missed and put a hole in the wall :/ he called me and her sluts and my mom one infront of his family and acts like an ***.. my mom says y dont you talj to him im like wtf for? hes pissed when she has no cash on her and happy when she does!

so what you guys think?

oh and he says **** about black people and im actually half black ( dad) and east indian ( mom) and hes indian too!!

ok. so the problem is this guy my mom has know for about lets say 2-3 yrs... i was 19 going on 20 and now im turning 23 so yeah thats about rite. when i was 17 my dad died.. murdered actually and my mom never really reacted to it the way i thout she would.. not like in a shocked way but like a .. meh w/e hes gone ok time to move on... all her crying and sobbing around other people made me feel like punching her strait in the mouth.. i did here her crack a effing joke like hours after her was pronounced ead.. she said well now i can date!!! hehe or w/e sumthing like that... so any ways shes had all these affairs ( i knwo shes not cheating cause shes a widow) but still slow down. littereally 3 months into him being gone she flew to india to take his ashes to his family home to a temple where they lay ashes into the water.. anyways 2 weeks later she home looking like she was out for a vacay and my g-pa was effing pissed and didnt say anyhing... i later find out a week afytre shes home that she was skrewing around out there with my grandfathers PERSONAL DRIVER (ewww) and he was married.. then after that she moved outthere to be with him 3 months after .. she dumped him and whent for this 20 sumthing yearold and was buttt ******* ugly and then dropped him for a guy whe people thought could be my brother or husband.. i was 18 when i went to love in india to have to whitness tis was like WTF! no food iin out house no drinking water or to bathe. i would feed the kids ( my siblings) and not eat for days while that COW would go woth her bfs and eat at hotels and stuff her face.. she never really acted like a mom ... well now shes with this 29 /30 yr old guy who does nothing and wants to get married .. hes doesnt do anythinkg like not even capable of supporting himself...... and he yelll at e and im like well f***er im born in the same decade as you dip sh!t so p!.ss off and he cries to my mom like tasha said this and that yeh well i did and? -_- ...(sigh) .. he gets money from her and the kids have to wait .. always.. and its ieeitating all the money i had saved up to myself for skewl ect.. i used to pay for their food and clothes and school fees...and he ( my moms future huuuuggh--sband) needs her money for his clothes PLUSSSSSS she doesnt want to see me succeed in life.. anything i do isnt good enough for her like well yeah and so what im a professional make-up artist and i sing aswell ( i do shows ect) and shes got the nerve to say that im useless and that i song for money and called me a hooker,,,,, ANYWAYSZZZZZZZZZ.... i guess im not really looking for an answere as this isnt really a question i just hade to vent a lil bit!! but some insite and ur thoughts would be nice!!!!

sorry for the essay lol i needed to vent and im sure in a few short yrs ill need therapy ahHA!