morrowynd

I wouldn't want to be a teenage in this world today. I used to dream of a time when technology ruled but I thought the world would be a better place. The world is a cesspool.

I wouldn't want to be a teenage in this world today. I used to dream of a time when technology ruled but I thought the world would be a better place. The world is a cesspool.

I suspect it was serious. I hope it wasn't. It seems the more 'aware' people are becoming, the more oblivious they actually are.

I want to download a bunch of mods to my Xbox one for Skyrim. But the most I seem to have access to is 5 gigs. The box has more memory that that. How do I save more mods?

I hit level 7 today so there is no more point to any of this.

Lately I have been accidentally breaking glass. I dropped my phone three times. Each time it cracked but the third time it shattered. I was oddly satisfied as well as annoyed.

A light bulb blew out and I tossed the dead one on my bed. Somehow I forgot to remove it later and actually sat on it when going to bed, breaking it.

If is made of glass I feel my grip weaken and even give. Each time I feel like I am being pushed to do so. Like I don't want it but my subconscious mind does. An insights?

I notice as an unbeliever that my biggest beef is with the use of phrases like "All loving god," or "All powerful god" because these words exclude exceptions and raise most of the problems with religion. Like, if god is all powerful, why not simply order evil to not exist? If god is all forgiving, whence is hell? All means just that. all. No exceptions.

Dad died in October this year. Christmas was his favorite holiday. I am not religious. But I loved my Dad and I am having a very hard time coping. The music, the commercials, decorations. It all feels too much for me.

I can understand why people kill themselves this time of year.

Is there a way to deal?

Dad died 10/03/16. My mother and I cared for him in his last years, right down to changing diapers and feeding him. Now that he is gone, neither of us wants to observe the holidays, at least until February, when the birthdays start

My brother insists that we carry on regardless. Thanksgiving and Christmas. He cannot understand why we want to pass on these holidays this year.

We really just want to mourn. Just this year. Are we wrong?

Today my father's doctor confirmed that Dad is dying and needs hospice care. He is 84 and I am 52. Yet it hurts like I was a five year old.

However, I want to be strong for my mother. How do I keep my back up when my heart is breaking?