minty359

league pin

one and only 8014025

 Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa ,

half discovered, half wild,

Naturally beautiful with fertile soil.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe,

well developed and open to Trade,

especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like India -

very hot, relaxed and convinced

Of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France -

gently aging but still a warm

And desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain -

with a glorious and all

Conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel -

has been through war and

Doesn't make the same mistakes twice;

takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada:

self-preserving but open to

Meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet.

Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and

The wisdom of the ages...

 Only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst

For spiritual knowledge visit there.

GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran.

Ruled by a little prick.

The Man Rules¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

At LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN

Finally , THE GUYS' SIDE OF THE STORY.

( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)

WE ALWAYS HEAR " THE RULES"

From the female side.

NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE.

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "

ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We need it up, you need it down.

You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.

Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:

Subtle hints do not work!

Strong hints do not work!

Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO.

SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.

IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE

DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE

1. You can either ask us to do something

Or tell us how you want it done.

Not both.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.

PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE no IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF IT ITCHES, IT will BE SCRATCHED.

WE DO THAT.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY "NOTHING," WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG.

WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE.. Really .

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS BASEBALL

OR golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS.

YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -

to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh.

To My Dear Wife:

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please do not be upset - I shall be home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table.

My Dear Husband:

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

1 person thrown out for useing the N word yet no action taken for calling another house mate a pedofile

a old couple was talking to each other about the after life and they both decided that who ever passed away first would come back and let the other one know what it was like

the old man passed away and the old woman waited fro him to contact her from the other side 3 days went passed

and no contact was made

so she went to a spirtulist and asked if she could contact the old man

after a while she said sorry i cant

the old woman went home feeling betrayed and lost

as she lay in her bed the olld man suddenly appeared to her

where have you been? she said whats it like?

getting his breath the old man replyed

its great sex in the morning sex in the afternoon sex before bed time

the old woman said so is heaven good then

the old man replyed heaven?

i am not in heaven i have been rencarnated as a rabbit on watership down

Now that the uk Goverment has banned smoking

The chief medical officer has turned his attention to drinker's

and want's the Goverment to raise taxes on drink's and wants a review of the 24 hour drinking law

who is this Goverment going to target next any idea's?

as in the case of the uk quick to respond to other countries yet slow to respond in the recent floods here